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| Question from Green Norn on 1/12/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Green Norn, Old and tired joke detected. Commencing ignore mode. Seriously, I think you overrode your good taste chip on that one.  - Laura |
| Question from Mental Civet Norn on 1/12/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Mental Civet Norn, You do nothing, you're fine. Just avoid looking into mirrors at all costs, they're so overrated. - Laura |
| Question from Persecuted Ettin on 1/11/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Persecuted Ettin, Just surrender all of their machinery that you've "borrowed" and nobody will continue to get hurt, I can assure you. What could you Ettins possibly want with a Pregnancy Indication Device anyway? - Laura |
| Question from Sober (hic') Bengal on 1/11/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Sober (hic') Bengal, Firstly get rid of those DAMNABLE hiccups; they're annoying and obviously make you appear as tipsy as a Shee Lord. For a drunk Norn you are quite adept at stringing sentences together, so use that in the argument against your Hand. - Laura |
| Question from A Worried Ettin on 1/11/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear A Worried Ettin, Before we go any further, it's important that you keep a clear head. There are no bars for you to squeeze through and escape, and manic wall-bonking will only result in you being unconcious, and you really don't want that when you're trapped in an airlock with a posse of Grendels, do you? No, I say, try to make the best of this time and build a rapport with your fellow captives - play a game of 'Twister'! I imagine that watching you and bunch of Grendels putting "right paw red" would be quite amusing. Hang in there! - Laura |
| Question from Troubled Norn Father on 1/10/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Troubled Norn Father, Toxic Norns have been given a lot of bad press. It sounds to me that you're basing your judgement of him purely on Toxic Norn propaganda and you haven't even met the poor lad yet! It's not his fault that he's the way he is, his biochemistry has been turned upside down through no fault of his own. And have you stopped to consider Julie's happiness in all this? Whether she's from a highly respected family or not, she has the right to date whoever she wants. Try and see in him what she sees, he may appear to be infectious and disease-riddled on the outside, but that doesn't mean his heart is! Just cut him some slack (and invest in plenty of air de-odorizers). - Laura |
| Question from Hates Leet on 1/10/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Hates Leet, I refuse to even dignify this question with a response, the very mention of l33t offends my screen. - Laura |
| Question from Orfeo on 3/26/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Orfeo, Just give her an antidepressant agent, and perhaps a Norndoll that she can carry round and pretend it's a real baby Norn. - Laura |
| Question from Beh on 3/23/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Beh, This is not a question, nor is this column a venting board for your violent musings. You obviously have some issues but I am no specialist in Grendel psychiatry. No, someone of your temperament would benefit from the expertise of a friend of mine, Dr. Ron, but he's away in Outer Mongolia at the moment. He's collecting gene samples to aid research for sick Outer Mongolian hunchbacked Doozers, a highly noble cause. - Laura |
| Question from Grndl on 3/22/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Grndl, You know, I don't think the Hand likes you, just a thought. Life isn't always fair and you've got the raw end of the deal. If you're brave enough, you could always go fishing for piranhas, I hear they're rich in protein... and also easier to digest than the Ark's equipment. Good luck, I think you'll be needing it!- Laura |
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