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Question from IbibGrimNorn  on 6/4/2003 | comment

Dear Laura,
     I have a big problem. My Hand has what you would call 'Vicious Grendel Syndrome'. It has been known to attack, kill, maul, starve, drown and slap the Grendels on the Ark to death. I have become concerned because it seems to have a mind of it's own, and I'm beginning to think it has it in for me. Oh no, here it comes! Em love hand! Ouch!
- IbibGrimNorn


Dear IbibGrimNorn,
     Get a sledgehammer and show it who's boss! Geez... Norns should really start sticking up for themselves! If that doesn't work assemble a gang of Hardman Norns, then sit back and watch the Hand get teared limb from limb! (If that doesn't work try introducing it to the piranhas... ;)).
- Laura
 
Question from Malkin  on 6/4/2003 | comment

Dear Laura,
     I have a Grendel in my world who likes to kisspop one of my Norns! They have been best friends since hatching, but it's too strange having them kisspop! I find it sad that nothing will ever come of their love, and want to ask you if there's anything I can do for this pair of star-crossed lovers?
- Malkin


Dear Malkin,
     It's like 'Beauty and the Beast' isn't it? Or perhaps 'Romeo and Juliet'? A story of two creatures secretly in love, much to the disgust of others. I say make the most of it. Love shouldn't be a dilemma you know. Take them out to dinner in a fancy restaurant and watch them blossom. Let them go on romantic midnight strolls in the gardens of Albia. Look at the bright side... At least they are not beating each other up!
- Laura
 
Question from Lanky  on 6/3/2003 | comment

Dear Laura,
     My Norn wants to dye his hair pink with a pigment rotation in his head; I think fluorescent green would suit him better. Since I have the power to do whatever I want, do I make him happy, make me happy, or feed him to the piranhas? What do you think?
- Lanky


Dear Lanky,
     Is your Norn an adolescent by any chance? Teenagers love expressing themselves. I reckon fluorescent pink would be really wicked since green is so last year! If you do decide to disagree with him prepare to expect rebellion. Imagine how impressed the other Norns will be when they see him with pink hair! It might impress the females if you know what I'm saying. Let him have the pink hair! He'll soon get tired of it anyway.
- Laura
 
Question from Nornistotle  on 6/3/2003 | comment | 1 like

Dear Laura,
     What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything in between?
- Nornistotle


Dear Nornistotle,
     I know I am amazing, intelligent and the best Agony Aunt this site has ever seen, but I don't know everything! ;)
- Laura
 
Question from Justin  on 6/3/2003 | comment

Dear Laura,
     I keep trying to breed my Norns by telling them "push norn" or "pull norn" but there is one Norn that gets all giggly and then says "push hand". Does this mean she is in love with me? I'm not really ready for that kind of commitment. How can I tell her that I'm not interested without breaking her heart?
- Justin


Dear Justin,
     I am afraid you're going to have to break your Norn's little heart. I know it's terrible, but it has to be done for her own good. Break it to her gently though. Try and get the message across that Norns can't breed with Hands. Try and encourage her to "go after" Norns instead and have a little fun along the way. I assure you that you'll soon be hearing the pitter-patter of tiny Norn feet. ;)
- Laura
 

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