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| Question from George's Owner on 6/14/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear George's Owner, His behaviour was very indecent and he completely ignored my advice when I suggested that he should make better use of his spare time by getting a hobby. He merely persisted instead, much to my discomfort; splicing is too good for him. A more appropriate punishment would be to send him to me, I have the perfect remedial task for him... He can help me sort out and file the bad letters, starting with his own!  However, I want him tamed before I have to deal with him IN MY OFFICE, you understand. Maybe a lecture on 'approaching' unnecessarily, 'resting self' when needed, and dealing with others 'retreating norn' will help.- Laura |
| Question from Ettin Abundance on 6/14/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Ettin Abundance, Three things: A bigger sound proof recording studio (with reinforced window panes to avoid cracked glass!), a musical agent and several pairs of earplugs. Give them an appropriate theme, a catchy name, and you may yet have a Talent(less) Quest entry! It's the self-expression that's important... as long as it doesn't impinge too much on your sanity.- Laura |
| Question from Dale the Demented on 6/14/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Dale the Demented, Any second now, the Hands in White Gloves will be bringing you a lovely new jacket to keep you comfy. Why don't you decide on a choice of colour while you wait? The choices are: white, white and white. - Laura |
| Question from Sgt. A. Ettin on 6/14/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Sgt. A. Ettin, *tsschk* Sergeant this is Laura confirming receipt of message. 50,000 Ask Laura? Atomiser Cannons heading straight to your vicinity as we speak, over. *tsschk* - Laura |
| Question from Valley Norn on 6/14/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Valley Norn, Honey, you and the dweeb are from, like, two totally different Terrariums! I mean, duh! If you hooked up, you'd have to, like, spend even more time in the jungle with him! That would be so not cool! If you think you could cope with that (and let me tell you, the mosquitoes are, like, so strong down there they could just carry you away...) how would you deal with the, like, stigma that the relationship would bring? Would your homies still think you?re a cool Nornette, or would they like, so totally reject you? Don't just let yourself, like, act on pheromones! That's so whack! Instead, you need to, like, you know, totally talk to him, like, normally to begin with. Maybe you should, like, meet inbetween the Norn Terrarium and the Jungle Terrarium for, like, now; in neutral territory, you know? Get to know him, and then decide if he's worth it, or something! - Laura |
| Question from Not Laura on 6/14/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Not Laura, Somehow this feels oddly familiar... Are you sure your name isn?t Laura? If you want a well deserved break, why don't you come and assist me? Leave those other Norns to sort out their own problems for a while. I could always do with some more skilled tea makers for when I get thirsty replying to questions, plus you can rely on me not to tap any cups with teaspoons! It would be fun; I?d pay you handsomely in carrots and when the working day is done, we could sit together and compare stories about this most tiring profession. Write back and let me know what you think of the idea, I look forward to hearing from you.- Laura |
| Question from Invisio on 6/13/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Invisio, Stranger things have happened... Don?t book that appointment just yet! Rather than you being off your rocker, I have a feeling that it?s actually something logical. There are many strange and wonderful species in the Shee Ark, not the least of which is a being known as Gaia, well known for her telekinetic powers. All the bizarre incidents you?ve witnessed seem to point straight, if not to her, then to her offspring; some Hands have spliced them with their Norns. What you need to do is set up a surveillance. Put out a pile of cheese, then hide and wait to see where the cheese floats off to. Chances are whoever is moving things will want to eat the cheese, so it should lead directly to the culprit. - Laura |
| Question from Kewl Kreechur on 6/13/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Kewl Kreechur, Forget not being able to spell anything, I can?t read anything here! I don?t think that?s your problem at all; you can?t remember where you are (for the keyboard is actually in the Norn Terrarium's Learning Room, not the Norn Meso), you can?t spell or talk properly... which leads me to the definite conclusion that you?re all DRUNK. Have a long nap and write me in the morning, that?s if you?re even allowed on the computer in the morning. I imagine your Hand will want to punish all of you for this atrocious behaviour.  - Laura |
| Question from Egghead on 6/13/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Egghead, Switch to eating Ettin and Grendel eggs instead? It?s worth looking into, the Ettin and Grendel mothers keep laying ?em so they won?t miss a few. I hope you?re good at impressions though! If you ever get caught stealing them, you?re going to need to a few ?urh arg?s? and ?flub bub?s? ready to roll off your tongue.- Laura |
| Question from Miguel on 6/13/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Miguel, Isn?t it obvious? This ?nasty? Hardman Norn is showing the telltale signs of being head over heels in love with you! What other reason could she have for trying to get next to you and chasing you around? She?s probably just yearning for some attention. I know from experience that when you have a crush on someone, getting noticed by them is more important than anything else. That said, she doesn?t sound suitable for you; anyone that scares you and makes you feel uncomfortable, well, sometimes it?s safer to go with your first instincts. Maybe you should try and make yourself undesirable. Perhaps if you stooped over, stopped bathing and took to saying "grah"... She may beat you up but you can?t win everything in life, and the standard of treatment in the Medical Bay is excellent. - Laura |
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