Creatures Caves | Community

Dear Laura,
I have two Norns, one is really old now and is called Alan Rickman and one is a teenager called Raura. The problem I have got is that Raura keeps on following Alan and wants to have his babies. Seeing that Alan is about 125 years old, surely this is a bit weird and very sad. What can I do to stop this and how can I make Raura like Norns her own age and stop fancying old git Norns?
- Raura's Daddy

Dear Raura's Daddy,
Firstly, you must realise that "old git Norns" as you so eloquently put it, have higher sex drives than normal males. This makes them understandably more desirable to female Norns of a younger generation. Secondly, an average Norn's lifespan can in fact, vary from up to ten hours, not 125 years. Raura obviously has an acquired taste for the more mature male; a welcome change from some of the other Norns she must know. You know? The ones who act like their shoe size and not like their age. In order to stop Raura liking Norns that are so much older than her, Alan will have to go through a long mating process with her, after which she will be too star-struck to do anything. You will just have to sit back and watch it happen, begrudgingly. I'm sure she will quite happily repay your act of concern for her, with a swift kick up the backside for mentioning this most embarrassing and personal dilemma publicly, once she's read this response.

To my loyal readers: Yes, that was actually my father submitting that question. Everybody laugh at him!

- Laura