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| Question from Confuzzled Hand on 3/21/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Confuzzled Hand, I would suggest you tell them all to click their heels three times and say, "There's no place like home!" each time. You must help them indulge their fantasies! ... or just stop drinking the hooch, that would help too. - Laura |
| Question from Arei on 3/21/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Arei, I think I have a very good idea about the Hand's motives here. Ahem. It's time that you got to know Arnold better, Arei. Why not try to spend some quality time with him? Taking a walk in the bramboo would be a fine idea, as it'll allow you both to sort out your feelings, and should you discover that you do indeed have feelings for each other... Well, the bramboo does grow thickly which is very convenient isn't it?  I hope you two do manage to get it together. Your parents will be thrilled, with you being betrothed and everything. It may seem very weird now, but trust me, it'll make perfect sense later on.- Laura |
| Question from Quack on 3/19/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Quack, Self-explanatory, my dear Quack. I heed your warning and look forward to your 'ATOMIC BALONEY' with great anticipation. - Laura |
| Question from Addman on 3/10/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Addman, You only submitted this futile piece of information in order to bother me. Don't think I don't know what you're up to. - Laura |
| Question from Lone Shee on 3/8/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Lone Shee, Did you check behind the couch? It's only common sense. When I lose things I often find them again behind the couch. Why, just the other day I found my lost homework that the dog ate and regurgitated and... The Secret Lair of the Mole People!  (Yes, I never clean behind my couch, I just live in hope that the fairies will magically do it for me).- Laura |
| Question from Addman on 3/8/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Addman, You are either delusional or just plain barking. There is no such thing as a 'Quirky Omelette Maker', you were probably dreaming my dear. I guess that's bound to happen when you hang around the Evil Council cronies for too long. I believe my advice was sound; please do not undermine my authority as Agony Aunt. My advice is always correct, especially where Norn psychology and behavioural issues are concerned, my PhD in this makes me Dr. Laura. Thus, I command you repent and apologise to me. But please, if you have any further complaints about my work, put them in writing, (preferably using the Ask Laura? 'Greener than Green Pen') then crumple up the paper and drop it into the nearest bin. Yours sincerely, - Laura |
| Question from A Green Norn on 3/8/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear A Green Norn, I'm sorry, but I agree with the Hand. You should be sacrificed for the good of Nornkind! ORF WITH ITS HEAD! - Laura |
| Question from Meep on 3/3/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Meep, I warned you all, I said the Green Norns were to be avoided, that they influence the young with their carefree, rebellious ways, but did you listen to me? No! You should have killed it; now it has the chance to spread the evils of existentialism and 'hippieness' through the Warp! You may have doomed all of Nornkind with your thoughtless sending! Well, I?m sorry, you guys completely ignored my advice, you?re on your own with this one. - Laura |
| Question from Jake on 3/2/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Jake, The 'Green' (also known as 'Hippie') Norns have been sighted recently invading our stations. They are all vegetarians, and often wear psychedelic heart and flower designs. Avoid them at all costs; they will introduce your other Norns to existentialism, something which can de deadly in the right doses. Of course, I could just be pulling your leg... The more plausible (and more likely) reason could simply be that your Norn has a genetic defect or mutation, and has inherited a green pigment gene from its parents.- Laura |
| Question from Shadow Ralts on 2/26/2006 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Shadow Ralts, Once again I feel as though we've stepped into the tricky world of inter-species dating, if that's what you're into. I imagine that the Ettin race would be highly impressed by bowers of hoarded stuff, if you're looking for something to smooth over the first 'meeting of the parents'. Just make sure that you haven't nicked any of your bower from your Ettin's family or friends; that would be a faux pas that's hard to beat. If an Ettin is suitably impressed, she will mate with you. It's like a dowry. - Laura |
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