Question from Eddaeck on 1/24/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, I'm a Norn, and my Hand hasn't been playing with me very much. I've noticed that she's been chanting "Skooma + Dagoth Ur = Fun" all day, and I heard from a Bondi Norn the other day that the Hand is playing something called 'Morrowind', or whatever. What can I do to convince the Hand that we're more important than her silly 'Morrowind'!? - Eddaeck Dear Eddaeck, Perhaps it would grab your Hand's attention if you started to display similar antics. Maybe you could collect gadgets and pile them up into letters like they show on beaches when someone needs to be rescued? Or reprogramme the ship so that it churns out custard instead of water, and carrot cake elevators? If that fails to get her notice, try dressing up as various 'Morrowind' characters and then leave on an "adventure quest" out of the nearest portal. Maybe that way you'll find a Hand whose more attentive to your needs.  - Laura |
Question from Mr. Reptiel on 1/22/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, I've got a... problem, you see. One of my Norns is sick, and now he's hiding from me so I can't give him his... 'Sleeping Medication'. Where do you think he is? Behind the couch? With the mole people? Swimming through the gasses of Jupiter? I need your assistance, this sick Norn will fill my world with diseases! I must find it. - Mr. Reptiel Dear Mr. Reptiel, How about a trip to the Norn Doctor instead of your homebrewed 'Sleeping Medication'? Obviously your Norn is smart enough to have a sense of self preservation, a rare thing for an Albian creature, and probably worth keeping in your gene pool. - Laura |
Question from Nish on 1/21/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, I have a very serious dilemma that I need your assistance in. This thing
called 'real life' is seriously taking up my Creatures time. My Norns are beginning to become jealous of my math textbook. Is there any way to lessen/eliminate the amount of time I have to spend dealing with this nuisance? - Nish Dear Nish, I sympathise with your Norns - I'd probably get a bit jealous too if I only existed when a game was on and my owner didn't run me very often. Why don't you try and make them feel more valued, and involved, by using them to aid you with your equations? Think of them as counting beans!  - Laura |
Question from Bad Speller on 1/21/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, I dwnlowded Doking Staysion yestterdy and my Nrons can't spel! - Bad Speller Dear Bad Speller, Either they can't spell, or they've just tampered with your keyboard.  - Laura |
Question from Test Subject on 1/20/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, Help me! My Hand just made me into a sprite thingy and told me it won't
wear off. The problem is my Hand never lies. I'm debating about running away or even killing my Hand. What should I do? - Test Subject Dear Test Subject, Well, to take such drastic measures, like running away, or Handicide, is never a good idea! So just take a nice deep breath and calm down, Test Subject - you may find you like being a new species after all. The Hand probably just wants to introduce more variety into the population, and a new set of sprites is the way to go about it. So go on, try to enjoy being the new center of attraction and watch those heads turn in awe of you.  - Laura |
Question from Oldie on 1/20/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, I saw myself in the mirror lately and my problem is that I'm only getting older and older! I think I might die soon! Is there anything I can do? - Oldie Dear Oldie, Well, how about attending an anti-aging clinic, (the Medical Bay) for a few doses of Chemical 125? If that fails, you could always try some fur dye, or move to a winter habitat where you'll blend right in. I do think growing old has its advantages though. After all, you're wise and all the younger Norns should respect you and cater to your every need.  - Laura |
Question from Tripple Six on 1/20/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, Help! The other Norns keep on looking at me strangely and hissing at me! Mum says it's because my dad was a bad Norn and so they'll think I'll be bad too, but I'm not! Please tell me what to do! - Tripple Six Dear Tripple Six, The best way to get over their prejudice would be to show them that you're friendly. Try to avoid "hit norn" and bring along some food and toy agents to share with the others? If that doesn't work, you could always try heading out into the Warp for a new world. A fresh start could help. - Laura |
Question from Treehugger Norn on 1/20/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, I was at a party with my Hardman Norn friend and she went crazy. I offered her some Panatreea Potion but she got even more crazy! What am I doing wrong? She's never like this. Wah! - Treehugger Norn Dear Treehugger Norn, Hmmm... My only guess is that she confused Calm Balm, her regular medicine, with your Panatreea Potion. So she may have been more frustrated because the 'potion', which she was expecting to calm her, didn't, which is understandable. - Laura |
Question from Ow on 1/18/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, I am in pain! The Hand said he made me with a "Genatiks Cet" or something like that. From the day I was born, I have always felt pain! What can I do about this? - Ow Dear Ow, Take an aspirin COB. And try not to have kids. As many an older Norn will tell you, it will only make the pain worse.  - Laura |
Question from Bored Norn on 1/18/2007 | comment
Dear Laura, I'm bored. I've tried everything, pull grendel, look food, eat elevator, hit
grendel home and push machinery. Nothing is working. - Bored Norn Dear Bored Norn, Being a Norn isn't for everyone, although, have you ever tried becoming a more imaginative one? - Laura |
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