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| Question from Anna on 2/28/2010 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Anna, From what I?ve read, you?re obviously your Hand?s pride and joy, so it?s understandable that it?s going to be overly-protective of you, like any father would be with his daughter. This would also explain its hostile behaviour towards Aqua, because it knows that water and non-amphibious Norns do not mix. What would happen to you if Aqua got carried away and dragged you underwater with him? You could drown. However, if you are serious about wanting to get to know Aqua better, why don?t you try and see if the Hand will reach a compromise with you? Perhaps you could suggest that the Hand chaperones your dates with Aqua, (preferably with your paws firmly on dry land!) until it trusts him enough. You should also allow it to inject a snorkel agent as a precaution. What about a nice picnic of cheese on the ship?s bridge? I hear the French are very fond of their cheese. - Laura |
| Question from Glitchy Norn on 2/20/2010 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Glitchy Norn, Deathcap mushrooms are not food. - Laura |
| Question from Depressed Suffering Norn on 2/20/2010 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Depressed Suffering Norn, Please stop sending me these letters. I answered the first letter privately to you, but you still keep sending me these very same letters over and over again! It's as if you forget you even wrote them in the first place! I have included my original response with a copy of this letter. Please deliver it to your Hand so that it may give you its personal attention, and the refresher course with the Encylopaedia Nornica that you so urgently need. - Laura |
| Question from Beh Narg on 2/18/2010 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Beh Narg, Oh, how I wish there were another door. Perhaps one more obvious, like a main entrance which leads onto the ship's bridge, and has all the food you could ever wish for on the other side! But, clearly, this door is just a myth so I can't help you, sorry. - Laura |
| Question from NOT Beowulf on 2/16/2010 | comment Dear Laura, Dear NOT Beowulf, Under normal circumstances, I would tell other Norns in your situation to skedaddle and keep a low profile in the ?My Creatures? folder, until things blow over, but you are no average Norn, Beowulf. No false alias can hide you from this destiny which has befallen you. You need to be brave, like your namesake, and face this head on! I think the most obvious plan of action is to rally support from the other Norns and, with them, lead an epic assault to victory against the Grendels. And don?t forget your kleptomaniac neighbours, the Ettins! Use the cheese from one of the dispensers to forge a pact with them (tell them they can use the cheese to barter for gadgets and machinery). They have the weapons at their disposal, so obviously it makes sense to have them fighting your corner with a Sludge Gun... Until the disapproving Hand comes along and breaks up the raucous that is.  - Laura |
| Question from A Very Hairy Yettin on 2/15/2010 | comment Dear Laura, Dear A Very Hairy Yettin, Whenever I start shedding my fur, I take it as a sure sign that it's time to rejuvenate my look! Maybe it's a makeover you need, in order to give your image, not to mention your relationship with your wife, a new lease of life. I suggest you take a shower (trust me on this one, it?ll be worth it!) and pamper your fur with some shampoo and conditioner, to make it soft and sweet-smelling, before giving it an invigorating blow dry to add volume. However, no makeover is complete without a new outfit, so next, why not shave off all that revitalized fur of yours, and have it tailored into a smart Tuxedo? Sometimes you need to be daring in the pursuit for love! I promise you, that combined with a nice gift-wrapped smell emitter, your wife will be all over you again, like Gosh-hawks around Grazers. - Laura |
| Question from A Very Angry Fan on 2/15/2010 | comment Dear Laura, Dear A Very Angry Fan, The Hand sent me away on Missionary work in the Warp; for the past month I have been too busy helping orphaned Norns find new, loving worlds to call home. Until you can be that nice, I don?t think you should complain. Would you really put your own hunger for humour before that of those who are really abandoned, lost and starving? No, I don?t think you would. - Laura |
| Question from OWWWW! on 2/12/2010 | comment Dear Laura, Dear OWWWW!, No worries, the desert itself contains everything you need to cure scorpion stings! First, find a fully-grown cactus with yellow spikes. Mix the sap of this cactus with some blades of desert grass, it should grow nearby. Then boil this concoction in the sun for about three hours. The resulting powder should be mixed with wet desert sand. You can find this sand at night at about three-feet deep. Leave it out in the cold for the rest of the night, then rub the mud on the wound. If you apply the cure within an hour of being stung, you'll be safe! P.S. ... Where do you keep your CD collection?  - Laura |
| Question from Fearful on 12/18/2009 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Fearful, Hands have a pesky code of 'ethics' which prevents the consumption of eggs... They call it 'cannibalism'. In order to live peacefully with the Hand, you will need to learn about and apply its code of 'ethics'... When it's looking that is. Most Hands are fair if these ethics are adhered to. However, if it starts muttering about 'Wolflings', then you may find your fondest wish fulfilled - the Hand may leave you alone for the rest of your life.- Laura |
| Question from Confused Grendel on 12/17/2009 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Confused Grendel, It?s understandable to be frustrated in your situation, but it won?t help to make some new friends; you?d scare off the Norns! You could always try dressing up in an old Norn skin (I assume you Grendels have them lying around as trendy hearthrugs...) as a cunning guise, to blend in and build a rapport with the Norn clan. Although, this idea does have its dangers. If your disguise slips, during a particularly intense game of bouncy ball, this may leave you even more hated. Perhaps it would be safer to win the Norns? hearts from a distance. The giving of cheese is often the way to a Norn's heart, but in this case, it's probably wiser to give them something that they know can't be laced with Glycotoxin. An assorted gift basket of carrots, juicy apples, honey, tendril seeds, etc. will be more likely to win them over. You should however avoid the fungi, as the Norns may remember the Deathcap Mushroom of Albia long-past. Also, try not to grin too widely; showing your teeth might give them a fright. - Laura |
Anyway, my Hand tries to keep me away from him all the time! It even slapped Aqua for kissing me! Now it keeps following me everywhere and refuses to let me go out late! It's like it's acting like my father! How can I convince it to let me have a relationship?| downloads cobs adoptions creaturelink metarooms breeds gallery art wallpaper screenshots graphics promos sprites |
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