Question from Evil Grettinorn on 11/27/2010 | comment
Dear Laura, Muhahaha! I am now in possession of a OHSS ray gun, and I ain't afraid to use it! Now, if you don't give me the Ark's control password, you may find yourself "forgetting" it... ![[devil] [devil]](/images/smilies/devil.gif) - Evil Grettinorn Dear Evil Grettinorn, Perhaps you should start using drink cans as target practice, before you point that thing at others... I believe your aim may be a little off.  - Laura |
Question from Buried Norn on 11/26/2010 | comment
Dear Laura, The ship's weather controller is having a fit! Temperatures have plummeted! Snow is cascading down continuously. I'm trapped inside so I have no idea what's happening everywhere else, but rumour has it that even the Ettin Desert is deadly cold! What should I do!? Food supplies are running low...  - Buried Norn Dear Buried Norn, It could be that the ship has entered an especially cold orbit, which would certainly explain the freak arctic conditions you?re all experiencing! Until the weather controller is able to adjust and settle down, ask the Hand to go on a mercy mission and inject a portable source of food, like the Albian Fruit Basket (an apple a day keeps the doctor away!), and a few Steam Rocks to huddle around and melt the snow. Before long you'll have full stomachs and toasty fur to see you through the wintery days ahead. - Laura |
Question from Surfer Norn on 11/26/2010 | comment
Dear Laura, Yo, Laur'! There are like, like, like, you know some like, killer waves out here! Maybe, you wanna' like, like, you know, catch a few by the beach with me! I'll bring boards, and, like, like, like, maybe a nice picnic! See ya' there! - Surfer Norn Dear Surfer Norn, I must say, dear chap, sending me such a cordial invitation was rather sporting of you; I read it while I supped my afternoon tea in the treehouse. Alas, and it is a ghastly matter, but I just cannot set one paw in the water, not even my dainty little toe! It is very embarrassing indeed, but just one drop and my fur becomes matted something rotten. I do confess, I end up looking like a common Worker Ettin! One's appearance has to be maintained, so it is with the deepest regret that I must decline this most generous offer of yours. - Laura |
Question from A Siamese Norn on 11/26/2010 | 1 comment | 1 like
Dear Laura, The Hand's been weird lately. First off, he's way bigger than he used to be. So big, he can barely fit in the ship's corridors (and he can't go through walls). He's also completely white. When he slaps other creatures (mainly Grendels) they're knocked back quite a bit and it seems to hurt more than the Hand's usual slaps. Oh, and he didn't know Handish when he started being like this, which was weird because I KNOW he knew it. Should I do something about him? - A Siamese Norn Dear A Siamese Norn, It sounds like the Hand's been a bit too slap-happy with you... Do yourself a favour and go on a well-deserved holiday; I suggest the beach in the Aquatic Terrarium where all the Bondi Norns like to chill out, dude! After a week of sun and respite by the surf, I doubt you'll be plagued by these trippy hallucinations again. As a future procaution, perhaps you should chop off the top of a cactus and take to wearing it as a hat.  - Laura |
Question from Burrowing Norn on 11/25/2010 | comment
Dear Laura, I just dug myself a burrow in the side of a hill in the Norn Terrarium. It's nice and dry, with plenty of room to invite friends over and maybe even start a family! But the thing is, I don't know the first thing about decorating! Where should I put my nest? Will I need curtains? What about isolating for winter? Please help! - Burrowing Norn Dear Burrowing Norn, While I prefer to go back to my roots by sleeping in a hollowed tree trunk, and therefore don?t know much about interior design, I think a lick of whitewash would really add that sense of light and space, and keep out the damp on those chilly nights. Throw in a few homely touches; a cheese vendor, some soft straw for a bed, maybe a couch (I hear that there?s a Grendel-hide one going cheap, after some punk Norn vandalised it. He claimed he was trying to make a leather jacket...) and your dark, cold burrow will be transformed into a warm and inviting haven. You may even find that neighbouring Hoppities will come tunnelling through your walls for tea! - Laura |
Question from The Grim Reaper on 11/23/2010 | comment
Dear Laura, I've recently checked your archives and noticed your earliest questions and answers were in 2003. A Norn, even an mascot Norn, cannot live this long. Laura, your extra lives ran out... - The Grim Reaper Dear The Grim Reaper, Have you forgotten about our little duel way back in 2003? As per custom, I challenged you to a game so I could live forever, after a fatal wallbonking accident. In fact, I challenged you to The Game. And you just lost. Again. - Laura |
Question from Joseph on 11/16/2010 | comment
Dear Laura, All my Norn friends make fun of me because I'm the color of cotton candy! It isn't my fault the Hand decided to play with the Genetics Kit again, it really isn't. Plus, all the girl Norns are trying to get me to go to the mall with them and even had the nerve to tell me what eyeshadow would look best with my eyes! Could you help me, Laura? Please, I don't want to be treated like a girl. - Joseph Dear Joseph, Time to toughen up and turn that pink into Punk! Craft yourself a rad outfit from blackened Grendel leather (I hear that some scheming Norns might have some left over from a couch they made...), add some slashes for that chaotic edge, and style up your locks into a dangerous-looking mohawk. Some Tantris berries ought to do the trick for a shocking bright purple hair dye. With such a bold statement, everyone will have to admit that pink can be Bad. In a good way. You might still be pestered by the Norn ladies, but in entirely new and refreshing ways! By the way, I think a dark-blue eyeshadow would look rebellious and really bring out your eyes. - Laura |
Question from Super Norn on 11/16/2010 | comment
Dear Laura, I found the Chaos Emeralds! I used them to go super and defeat the Grendels, and now I have a problem: I can't run out of rings. You see, the rings are starting to sap the energy from the Ark, which is a problem in it's self, not to mention I'm stuck as a glowing golden super powered Norn who can jump in to the piranha pond and the piranhas explode! I'm too scared to go back to the Sonic dimension because when I run out of rings, the Badniks will be able to get me and I have no shield! What do I do!? - Super Norn Dear Super Norn, Press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B and A to activate a secret cheat code! Once you do that, you'll be given the power of invisibility and therefore, you'll be able to reach the hidden vortex behind the Crypt in the Norn Terrarium (be careful of the exploding carrots!) in order to safely quit the game... and allow another Norn to have a go at the games on the Capillata computers. - Laura |
Question from Higgledy Piggledy on 11/14/2010 | comment
Dear Laura, ?it undo to spell magic a know you Do .bat a like down upside I?m now and ,lab secret the in found had I which ,Shee Lone The of experiment new one tried I?ve - Higgledy Piggledy Dear Higgledy Piggledy, !there in hang just ;off wear do spells most you for Luckily .tomato a with himself splice and try to fun be would it thought who Grendel unfortunate the to happened what at Look .understand to capacity the have not do we forces with meddle to wise not is it for ,yourself to paws your keep you?ll now Perhaps ?happening was this all while Hand the was where and ,place first the in lab secret Shee?s Lone The in doing you were What - Laura |
Question from Lost 'N' Found Norn on 11/13/2010 | comment
Dear Laura, After a long journey through the Albian desert, I have seen my life in a new light! But now I have returned to civilisation and I'm finding it hard to blend in once more... Any tips? - Lost 'N' Found Norn Dear Lost 'N' Found Norn, Having been alone and learnt more survival skills than an average Norn does in a lifetime, your urge to crowd a lift has been replaced by coping with the harsh desert climate, foraging for cactus seeds and fighting off bees. The other Norns may not pay attention to you unless you?re a disembodied Hand, so either learn how to float and pass through solid objects, or just find yourself a nice quiet spot to hang your holiday snaps, because let me tell you, there's nothing more annoying than a crowd of Norns! - Laura |
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