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Dear Laura,
The Hand's been weird lately. First off, he's way bigger than he used to be. So big, he can barely fit in the ship's corridors (and he can't go through walls). He's also completely white. When he slaps other creatures (mainly Grendels) they're knocked back quite a bit and it seems to hurt more than the Hand's usual slaps. Oh, and he didn't know Handish when he started being like this, which was weird because I KNOW he knew it. Should I do something about him?
- A Siamese Norn

Dear A Siamese Norn,
It sounds like the Hand's been a bit too slap-happy with you... Do yourself a favour and go on a well-deserved holiday; I suggest the beach in the Aquatic Terrarium where all the Bondi Norns like to chill out, dude! After a week of sun and respite by the surf, I doubt you'll be plagued by these trippy hallucinations again. As a future procaution, perhaps you should chop off the top of a cactus and take to wearing it as a hat.

- Laura