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| Question from Unfortunate Norn on 2/25/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Unfortunate Norn, Your fellow Albian inhabitants are cruel laughing at you, and they should be ignored. But every cloud has a silver-lining; I?m thinking that your problem could be turned into a valuable asset if you adopt the right attitude. Have you ever considered donating your body to science? A genetic phenomenon like yourself can prove to be essential in aiding the research of the developers, scientists and genetic breeders in our Creatures Community. Just imagine it; an insight into the inner workings of your DNA could lead to the development of new geats, sprites, even Norn breeds! It really could make you famous. Plus, imagine the joys of living with those prone to such fabulous discoveries as honey-carrot drops and edible rubber balls!  I personally think it?s not a bad idea. Mull it over and consider discussing it with your Hand.- Laura |
| Question from Gorgeous Norn on 2/23/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Gorgeous Norn, Oh, ew. Gorgeous, I completely sympathise with your feelings, being a lady of charms myself. Of course, I have the advantage of Treehugger camouflage. If 'Mr. Lucky' - he wishes! - comes along, I dive into the nearest bush. Adolescent boys are sometimes prone to being driven by their newfound sex drive over all else. This does not mean that you owe any of them a kisspop. Stick with your girl-friends, as often boys will think twice about approaching a group of girls. It might also be worth asking your Hand to try to separate the least annoying boys from the pack; I find men can even become adorable, individually. - Laura |
| Question from Kid With No Clue on 2/22/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Kid With No Clue, Maybe your Norns are hungry for a juicy Norn steak with a side order of Norn eggs? I'd suggest that the Hand gets some more appropriate food sources, preferably critters if the Norns seem to be fixed on catching their 'own' food. Also, judging by their speech, they could all do with a language booster class (with an extra-curricular side order of 'Do Not Eat Your Young' 101)! - Laura |
| Question from Grendel Killer on 2/20/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Grendel Killer, The moral of this story is that raising Norns and Grendels in a close proximity should be avoided, so do both of you a favour and separate them immediately. That aside, you clearly have serious issues with the Grendel race. Let me tell you now that you shouldn?t believe everything you hear or read. Grendels have been the butt of a lot of propaganda over the years and, as a result, they?ve become a sorely misunderstood species. Maybe if you educated yourself more about them, you would have a better understanding, and perhaps a newfound sense of appreciation. The Truth About Grendels, whilst largely dealing with Creatures 1 and Creatures 2 Grendels, still has some interesting insights to offer. - Laura |
| Question from Random Male Norn on 2/5/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Random Male Norn, Sounds like you've been struck by one of Cupid's arrows. I'd suggest you go up and talk to this vision of loveliness. If it makes you feel easier about it, give her a friendly gift. - Laura |
| Question from Old 'N' Lonely on 1/31/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Old 'N' Lonely, Well, you're going to have to be sneaky about this one. When the Hand comes to watch over you Norns, make your way up some lifts to get to the top of your habitat, and grab the agent right out from under her fingers. Quickly make a dash with it into the nearest portal or door, or alternatively, see if you can coax a friendly Ettin into feeding it into the Recycler for you. That should put an end to it. I also advise you to keep a watchful eye on your Hand's "shopping habits" from now on too, just to ensure that she doesn't go and obtain another one.  - Laura |
| Question from KC11 on 1/29/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear KC11, Make peace, not war? Seriously, your Hardman Norns show better sense than yourself, it seems. I mean, really, even the meanest Hardman warrior isn't going to beat up on a poor, defenseless Grendel. A warrior's honour needs to be upheld after all. - Laura |
| Question from Heartbroken Hand on 1/27/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Heartbroken Hand, Have a funeral, and try to remember all the good things about your Norn. Also, try and put your Norn's things away for now; constantly seeing them littered around the Meso will only sharpen the pain. Even though it's painful, some day you won't feel sad that you had her and she died. You'll just be glad that you had the chance to get to know her at all, and that's a comforting thought in itself. Try going for long walks in the meantime, it will give you a chance to be with your thoughts out in the fresh air. - Laura |
| Question from The Thing on 1/25/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear The Thing, Ask your Hand to inject a 'Norn Home Smell', an 'Ettin Home Smell' and a 'Grendel Home Smell' emitter into your world to help you combat your homesickness. Although, have you ever considered using using your mixed heritage to your advantage by becoming the first multicultural Ambassador in the history of Creatures? - Laura |
| Question from Sad Hand on 1/25/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Sad Hand, I thhink it's safe to say that next time you should exercise more care in choosing a test subject, and tell them exactly what the end results will be beforehand! It might be worth considering that your Norn is probably at the lifestage where appearance is really important, so you can expect her to be overly self-conscious and upset about this. After all, she needs to feel confident with herself if she's ever going to attract a mate. Ask her family and friends about what her hobbies are, where she likes to go, and try to think as she does. Also put a broadcast over the ship's intercom, reminding her that her external appearance doesn't change who she is inside. Beg her to come back. If it is possible for you to reverse the process that gave her the horns, promise her that you will do so. If this does not succeed, enlist everynorn's help in finding her. Be sure to check the Warp, as she might try to escape through there, if she hasn't already. - Laura |
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