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| Question from Phatty D on 5/5/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Phatty D, Word up bruvva is that if yo' Hand don't know where to get an agent, the place to be is 'Where is da Agent?'. If it's not there, it's not made, dude. Also, props on the kewl name, Phatty D. If yo' Hand don't like your 'tude, tell them to change it. - Laura |
| Question from Soldier on 4/12/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Soldier, Processing power, completely unlike political power, can be bought. Inevitably a war will only cost your Hand more in resources, lives and time than simply working to buy a newer processor. It might be worth explaining this to him, as his motives sound a bit confused. Go and diplomatically suggest that he just needs to save up his pennies and get a newer processor, rather than go to war. You may also need to rally your friends to the cause in case he considers you a 'volunteer', though. - Laura |
| Question from Perry Rod Norn on 4/4/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Perry Rod Norn, You claim to be a member of the Norn population, yet you do not know what a Grendel, the ultimate arch-nemesis to Nornkind, is? You've either had a very sheltered upbringing, or you're a human being pretending to be a Norn posting questions. If you are the latter, next time do your research before submitting to my humble column please, I am a very busy Norn. If you are in fact a Norn, be grateful that you have the blessing of not knowing what a Grendel is; you must?ve never encountered one before. Avoid going near the volcano and it should stay that way. - Laura |
| Question from Sleep E Head on 3/31/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Sleep E Head, I think you need to ask the Hand for more ecology lessons, as you still seem to be confusing 'herbs' with 'badplants'. The herb that gives you energy is called Morning Glory and it shouldn?t be confused with the badplant Nightshade. Although both are physically similar, Nightshade will make you fall asleep. It's not surprising you?ve been so tired! - Laura |
| Question from Baby Norn on 3/22/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Baby Norn, No. Don?t go looking for them, you may only end up going missing yourself. The Jungle Terrarium is extremely dangerous and is not a place for young Norns. Maybe your Hand can go in and check on them. But, oh dear, considering where they've both gone and how long they've been in there... I'm sorry but I think you need to prepare your little self for the worst. It's a sad and difficult fact to accept, but it could be that your Mama and Papa won?t come back in good health or even alive.  Just be brave for your parents and remember that every Norn experiences this at some point in their lives, so you?re not alone. Also, take comfort in the knowledge that the other Norns will be around to look after you whatever happens.- Laura |
| Question from Desperate Treehugger on 3/22/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Desperate Treehugger, Explain to the Hand your deep felt love for this Norn and ask for its help and blessing. As far as getting sick goes, that's the cost of love. We all have to make sacrifices for the ones we love, I just hope you?re happy and making the right decision.  Might I suggest you stock up on medicines though?- Laura |
| Question from Scared Baby Treehugger on 3/22/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Scared Baby Treehugger, I suggest you try spending more time around the dinosaur, just a little at first, until you become less fearful. Give it a name, have conversations and play games with it, anything that will help alleviate your fear. I?m sure it?ll turn out to be a good companion for you, and possesses no Grendel traits underneath its scaly exterior. - Laura |
| Question from Desperate Hand on 3/18/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Desperate Hand, Don?t Ettins like gadgets, not toys? Ettins are descended from engineering stock, meaning they are pretty much fixated on technology. I'd suggest that you use this to your advantage and move them to the Bridge with some nice machinery to play with. They might even build something useful! - Laura |
| Question from Random Female Norn on 3/2/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Random Female Norn, He might not necessarily be staring at you, he could be staring at the big toy. Perhaps he wants to play with the toy as well, but is too shy to ask you. Often it?s natural for boys to feel bashful when they?re faced with talking to a girl, why don?t you approach him and ask if he wants to join in? - Laura |
| Question from Cheeseburger on 2/25/2007 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Cheeseburger, I?m not even going to ask why any Norn would need some toothpaste... They don't have any toothbrushes! Bartering usually works well in close-knit communities like yours. Why don?t you use this to your advantage and use your natural resources for example, carrots, to trade with them for goods? Every Norn likes a freshly dug up, crunchy carrot so I don?t think you?ll find that many will turn their nose up at such an offer. Don?t meddle with the blue carrots though, they only lead to trouble. - Laura |
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