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FaerieHawk

FaerieHawk
United States  


  6/15/2017

So last night I remembered the name of a third location my Psychologist talked about. Looked it up and SURPRISE also complaints of billing problems, poor treatment of patients, and swapping of employees so you can't get used to who you're talking to for too long.

There is no help for me and there never will be, I guess. Poor people don't deserve help.

To top it off my friend just shut me down because I got upset at him for saying I should move to another state as if that's something someone like me can reasonably do. I can't leave my room without feeling unsafe and that's with family around that make me feel safer and a place I can go to for help even if my grandfather is a massive lazy jerk.

So now he's no longer an option in my head because he's now a 'danger' to my brain. I probably couldn't feel safe moving in with him because the last thing I need is another person snapping and not wanting to talk to me because just moving away from my home and family is literally like asking me to skin myself and then sit in a corner until it heals.

I wish I'd never been born. Or that I could just die in my sleep. Or I could just die in general.


Between my love of cookies, tea, and the observation of genetics in nature I'm practically a Shee.[ngrin]
 
Intyalle

Intyalle
New Zealand  

 visit Intyalle's website: Nadia Eat Hand
  6/15/2017

*gives FaerieHawk all of the hugs* I know just how you feel on, like, pretty much every point of that x.x

Also known as bab_5_freak from the old Gameware forums.
 
FaerieHawk

FaerieHawk
United States  


  6/15/2017

At this rate I'm going to have to move to Illinois by the end of the year and it makes me so angry. I shouldn't have to leave the only place I've ever known because my government can't get its crap together and properly care for its citizens.

If they even have anything better over there, which I doubt.


Between my love of cookies, tea, and the observation of genetics in nature I'm practically a Shee.[ngrin]
 
Lurhstaap

Lurhstaap
United States  

 visit Lurhstaap's website: Addicted To CAOS
  6/16/2017

I will say that while California is very expensive and it's not easy to be poor here, we do get relatively decent services compared to what it's like in a lot of the rest of the country. I can't always find a mental health worker with the exact credentials I'd prefer, but I CAN pretty much always find someone who's compassionate and wants to do their best to help, which, honestly, it sounds like that would be a step up from where you're at. Not that I'm saying you should move here, but more just, FWIW, it's not that bad everywhere? So maybe you could find somewhere that would work better for you.

Conclude with killer catchphrase.
(Lurhstaap)
"This is not knowledge -
this is information!"
New Model Army, "Courage"

 
FaerieHawk

FaerieHawk
United States  


  6/16/2017

Illinois my only other option. I'd have to move in with my friend despite my terror at moving away from home. No way in heck I'd feel safe moving anywhere alone (nor would I be able to survive alone what with my liekly plethora of mental disorders) and I'll likely never be able to live in Virginia with my girlfriend because of her muscular dystrophy.

But the universe seems to want me to lose my mind and die apparently that's what my life's shown me for the past 26 years I've been alive.


Between my love of cookies, tea, and the observation of genetics in nature I'm practically a Shee.[ngrin]
 
Intyalle

Intyalle
New Zealand  

 visit Intyalle's website: Nadia Eat Hand
  6/16/2017

*flails at FaerieHawk* You make me wanna help so bad x.x But, moving to NZ is even less doable XD

Also known as bab_5_freak from the old Gameware forums.
 
Geat_Masta

Geat_Masta
United States  


  6/16/2017

I agree with inty, there are probably lots of people in the CC that would love to have you.
 
Zurinsel13

Zurinsel13
Austria  

 visit Zurinsel13's website: Random maybe
  6/16/2017

@ Faerihawk, I am really sorry to hear that :/ Health Care in USA is very hard to get and to afford
I send you my hugs and all my best wishes for you!

I really don't know where to start at the moment and don't want to complain too much. Currently I have problems to get along with my elder sister with whom I share a flat. For years we used to get along really well, however this changed a lot since a year. We attend different universities which isn't a problem as such. My sister is at the clinical part of her dentistry study (pretty much the last stuff you have to do) , while I am at the end of my second semester. Since she started the stressfull clinical part she is irritated, always says that everyone is so mean to her and that she finds nobody to befriend nor to talk to. She generally wears a cloud of frustration around her and doesn't get how hurtful she has been in the recent months. Like a hermit she always stays home, so when I go out to meet people she guilt trips me that
she has no one to talk to or complains that I come home late, but when
I invite people to the flat it is wrong for her as well, even if said people are actual friends of hers as well. It is impossible for me to stay home as much as she wants me to and I have the feeling that in her case her severe hermitism isn't psychologically healthy :/ Also she always visits our mum at the weekend, out of fear that she could be sad if nobody visits her.
It is very uncomfortable to be with my sister, she always leaves the flat in a mess. I do get that she is really busy is, hey, everyone is really busy, but leaving such a mess that I cannot invite people is too much.
I am sometimes at the end with my nerves because I tried so many times to calmly tell her, that some of her behavior is just too much for me, but if I want to talk about something with her, she just always tells me that I am so mean.
2 days ago we had an argument in the supermarket because of... lunch for the next day. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? Sadly we discussed about the food for 20 min, because no, she doesn't want organic chicken with salad, pumpkin seeds and healthy vegetables, that stuff can't taste good. And on the next day after lunch she apologized and admitted how tasty it was... oh and I could only convince her with my food idea by saying I will treat her to some avocado maki...

Honestly it feels so wrong whats happening. Btw my sister is 25 and I am 23... I wish it was just an idiotic teenager argument.

Does anybody has advice what I can do? It becomes really though to deal with her all the time, I just wish for calmer times again.
(moving out isn't an option, we don't have enough money for that)
Sorry for my long rant.



"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others"
-Jonathan Swift

 
Lurhstaap

Lurhstaap
United States  

 visit Lurhstaap's website: Addicted To CAOS
  6/16/2017  2

TBH it sounds like your sister might be succumbing to depression. Many of the symptoms you describe, such as the messiness and the irrational behavior (and lack of self-awareness regarding this behavior) about wanting friends but actually rejecting any chance to actually socialize or make new friends, is typical depression behavior.

Conclude with killer catchphrase.
(Lurhstaap)
"This is not knowledge -
this is information!"
New Model Army, "Courage"

 
Zurinsel13

Zurinsel13
Austria  

 visit Zurinsel13's website: Random maybe
  6/16/2017

Now that you mention it, you definitely have a point, Lurhstaap! Thank you very much for that observation, I haven't thought about depression in her case yet.

"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others"
-Jonathan Swift

 
Lurhstaap

Lurhstaap
United States  

 visit Lurhstaap's website: Addicted To CAOS
  6/16/2017  2

No problem. I've struggled with depression my entire life, and so it becomes easy to spot the signs in others - at least based on what you've said here. I am not a professional, so my words should not be taken as any kind of sure diagnosis - but I would definitely urge you to help her see a professional who can make such a diagnosis if it's warranted. IMO it sounds like there are enough signs to justify, at the least, a psychological 'checkup'. There's no shame in it at all - depression is THE most common psychological malady, it affects almost everyone at some point in their life, and what she's going through is an extremely common trigger for stress-related depression and anxiety.

Conclude with killer catchphrase.
(Lurhstaap)
"This is not knowledge -
this is information!"
New Model Army, "Courage"

 
C-Rex
Lollipop Lord

C-Rex
United Kingdom  

 visit C-Rex's website: The Norn Nebula
  6/16/2017  1

Depression sucks. I've considered going back to the doctor myself but they'll probably shove me on some therapy course instead of give me medication.

⋆ The Norn Nebula ⋆
My Creatures blog


 
Zurinsel13

Zurinsel13
Austria  

 visit Zurinsel13's website: Random maybe
  6/16/2018

It's been one year since my big rant about my elder sister, but I really have to get this out of my mind now. Things with my sister didn't develop that well, for most of the part it was okay, but as last time I feel at my end of my nerves.
To make it short, the flat, especially her room still looks like a mess because she doesn't clean up. She said she is going to do so on Monday as a friend of hers from US is coming over here. I was doing the complete household 99% alone the time since I last commented. I only managed a very few times to make her take out the trash or do something else, but now another problem has arisen. It's her dog. My family, including her, has this out of this world view, that I always have time. Right at the moment I feel like a total mess, I have so many university stuff to do and seminars to finish that I feel like suffocating, but my family always wants me, because I stay in the flat on weekends in comparison to my elder sister who stays with our mum and our stepfather in the countryside, to look after her dog. Everytime my sister leaves her dog is getting nervous and decides to not digest her food that well plus needing to pee at 3 am. So you can imagine that I am not found of taking care of her when I need my concentration at my maximum to finish everything this semester. When I start to complain about my sister's dog behavior I am always met with words of disbelief that she really did this and that.
Trying to explain to my family why I simply can't watch after the dog as usual always gets me into ugly fights with my elder sister. She and our mum treat it as complete obviousness that I have to take care of the dog. If I try to tell them it doesn't work that way they get all moody, try to guilt trip me and a lot more. It just gets so stressful at times I actually need my concentration to work for my most.

It gets worse though because of work. So I am employed at my mother's place and as with the dog it is apparently implicitness that I work at my mum's place. Why is it a problem? I am not keen to work in the family business of dentistry. I study agricultural science, not something medicine alike! I always get looked down when I work there by everyone, so I restore to only do the dishes in the kitchen of the office or vacuum clean at times when I am not busy. My sister always takes the leftover food to our flat inside the dishes of the office, but I get the blame as usual why the office dishes are not back in the kitchen.
Trying to tell my family that I don't want to work at their place is met with complete ignorance and trying to guilt trip me because it's "family" and stuff. My needs to work in the field I am studying just not get fulfilled.
So the last part is a very personal one. Since I am thankfully happily together with my boyfriend since over 9 months ( I truly don't know what I would do without him, he is the only one on my side and helping me everywhere he can) , I gained a small amount of weight.
My weight was always and apparently will always get discussed by my family, but so much that I am on the verge of tears at the moment while I write this. Since I hit puberty, I had always a bit more weight compared to my mum and sisters', but not that I am obese. I am according to my BMI still healthy. They believe that I eat too much, don't do any workout, that I don't take the stairs, that I drink maybe too much soda, that I don't dress well enough and therefore look fat, that I don't walk enough, that maybe my portion size is too big, that I eat too late, that I drink too many smoothies, etc. The problem is, the opposite in my case is true. At the moment I eat very healthy stuff , avoid drinking smoothies but eat the fruits as they are, incorporate vegetables more, eat most of the time just 2 meals a day, drink plenty of water, walk around a lot and I always take the stairs in my university.
What makes my situation worse is that I am so stressed at this moment that I am not dropping a single pound. I feel like I am entering a dangerous part about my eating habit because all the nasty words of my family sticks to my mind like glue that I started to believe that I am overweight. I feel just unappealing all the time. Again, if my boyfriend wasn't here for me I don't know what I would do. Last time I was at his place and we talked about my weight with him and his sister, I was just so relieved and happy that I almost burst into tears because they find me beautiful and not overweight at all.
I am so stressed sometimes that my period is skipping up to two months at times.

Reading this just made me realize how low my confidence in myself is at the moment and that my life is just a big mess, but without my boyfriend it would be even a bigger one.
Opening up about all this was a huge step for me.

Does anybody have advise for me what I can do?
( and sorry if nobody wrote in this topic a long time, I hope it is no problem)


"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others"
-Jonathan Swift

 
veevveeeza

veevveeeza
United States  

 visit veevveeeza's website: no website
  6/16/2018

Do you live in your own house Zurinsel or do you live with your parents
You said you were in college so im guessing you could move to a new house or something?

If not then i don't really know...,hide from your parents?Hide from your sister?


They call me the sickboy.

 
Zurinsel13

Zurinsel13
Austria  

 visit Zurinsel13's website: Random maybe
  6/17/2018

I live in a flat with my sister, but sadly I don't have the money to move out, that's why I would like to work somewhere in my field. College and university work a bit different here with the housing. The good thing is I can visit my boyfriend often and for studying I got a new room key for the public student union I am working, so at least I got a private office table in the facilities :)

As you said Veevveeeza, hiding is the best option I can do to avoid further conflicts, thanks for listening


"Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others"
-Jonathan Swift

 
C-Rex
Lollipop Lord

C-Rex
United Kingdom  

 visit C-Rex's website: The Norn Nebula
  6/17/2018

Sounds a lot like my brother, but thankfully he's not that bad when I'm at home. Hope things improve for your Zurinsel13. :(

I had a really awkward phonecall two days ago with a receptionist of a company I'd applied for a job with - halfway through I said I felt a little apprehensive because she said she couldn't see any previous relevant job history or something like that and it went downhill from there. I said I'd phone her back on Monday if I made up my mind, and to be honest I don't really want the job now. I've also learnt I'm going away with a friend next Sunday until Tuesday which throws a spanner in the works, and I've been looking forward to it for ages and I'm not willing to cancel it, especially as it's for the Summer solstice.

I'm also worried that if I say no to the job my dad will think I'm a failure. Honestly I don't think I had any chance to begin with because of the way she spoke to me on the phone.


⋆ The Norn Nebula ⋆
My Creatures blog


 
veevveeeza

veevveeeza
United States  

 visit veevveeeza's website: no website
  6/17/2018

Zurinsel13 wrote:
I live in a flat with my sister, but sadly I don't have the money to move out, that's why I would like to work somewhere in my field. College and university work a bit different here with the housing. The good thing is I can visit my boyfriend often and for studying I got a new room key for the public student union I am working, so at least I got a private office table in the facilities :)

As you said Veevveeeza, hiding is the best option I can do to avoid further conflicts, thanks for listening



Np! I have similar things to you like my dad would yell at me for not getting my work done like chores ( i do them almost every day is why and im fed up with it)
I do house chores (because i'm not as old as you at all) and i do a half hearted "decent" job,at least that's what my dad says,its only that because i don't wash pans (i mean like rinse them,basically put things that i can into the dishwasher and then when its full i start it up.) even though that's not the main part of the chore, also my dad tells me some other things but i can't remember them so if i do ill edit this comment.

Also my brothers pretty weird for a kid,he thinks someone or something hears him while he plays computer-games and i have to remind him that's no one hears him and that hes talking to himself,also he annoys me a lot because when i watch YouTube (sometimes other stuff but mostly YouTube) and he (get this) just stares at my computer, he will move his head to were he can see my computer and just stare until i tell him to stop and then he will either hit me or scream at me and tell me to stop.
He has ADHD and Anxiety so...I guess that makes sense he talks to himself
I am similar to him but i only have Anxiety, I only have it when im stressed or when I go to my grandmas (for some reason i start to feel energized and jump around the house ALOT.)


They call me the sickboy.

 
C-Rex
Lollipop Lord

C-Rex
United Kingdom  

 visit C-Rex's website: The Norn Nebula
  6/29/2018

Went ahead and fell for my friend again, didn't I? I'm hurting a lot right now and just feel like crying.

And before anyone asks, he already knows I like him and there's no future for us in that prospect...


⋆ The Norn Nebula ⋆
My Creatures blog


 

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