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Strangeo Forum |
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Melody
    
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11/2/2008 | |
Marry was a sweet and gentle norn she would often help other norn scavenge for food, find toys for the baby norns, and care for nature. She was a vegitarian. Everyone in the C3 starship docked with DS thought she was the nicest norn of all. One day the her evil wizard twin siter Angie cast a spell on every norn known in the whole C3 DS starship. They slapped her, they locked her in the airlock. Just as they were about to press the button a little fairy appered, she lifted up Marry and they floated to safety. The other norns looked confused and wondered where Marry went. Marry started "Who are you?" The little fairy said I'm a fairy comes to rescue norns in there hour of need.
The little fairy said "Marry... you must run away and join the grendels" "The grendels!" Marry said very suprised. "Yes... the grendels" The little fairy said.
"The grendels are mean though!!"
Marry said. "I know, but they can be tamed." Said the little fairy
"Why can't I got to join the ettins?"
Said Marry.
"You need to find three ingrediants to reverse the spell, that's why." Said the little fairy.
"What spell?" Asked Marry.
"You see your evil twin sister Angie has cast a spell on all the norns that makes them try to kill you!"
Said the little fairy.
Marry gasped!
"So what three ingrediants do I need to find?" Asked Marry.
"A piranna egg, A mosquito, and a grendal egg." Said the little fairy.
"Okay" Said Marry.
Marry started running towards the Grendal terriuam. One of the norns spotted her and said "Hey, there's Marry, get her!"The norns ran to to the lift. When they got to the top they noticed Marry going into the grendel terriuam. One of the norns "I'm not going in there" All the norns argreed and waited at the door of the grendel terriuam.
Marry went in she saw a grendal, and a egg. She dashed to the egg and got it before the grendal could get her. The grendal was chasing after her. "Oh no!" She thought. She saw a mosquito she jumped to catch! Yes she got it! She ran to the piranna pool. The grendal was tired and out of breath... it fainted.
She stuck her hand into the piranna pool and got the egg. "Ow!" She cried, the piranna had bit her in the hand! She raced out the grendal terriuam door knocking over one of the norns standing in front of the door. She got the the little fairy. She gave them to the little fairy. "The little fairy said "I just need my pot now... oh... there it is! "A pinch of egg a pinch of that a pinch of mosquito that goes splat! The norns were confused they said "What just happend?" "I don't know." One of the norns cried out "Let's party!" The norns stared at him. Marry "Cried out yes the spell was reversed, thankyou little fairy" "My pleasure dearie." "I have something to tell you." "Boom!" out came a beatiful norn! " Mom!" Marry cried out! "Yes, it Marry, you see I wasn't killed by grendels, just as I was about to get killed, boom!"
A was transformed into a fairy."
Marry hugged her. Marry's mother said "Another fairy had saved me and said to me "You will transform back into a norn when you find your daughter, Marry."
They both hugged each other in happiness. On that very day happieness was restored to all of C3 docked with DS.
The End.
I hoped you enjoyed my story!
Please rate my story from 1 to 10.
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ToxicNorn
 

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12/28/2008 | |
I give it a 7 out of 10.
My site: http://toxicnorn.webs.com/ |

KC11
    

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1/14/2009 | |
Dude, this isn't a rating forum. If you want to give it a 7 out of 10, at least tell her what was good about it/what she could improve.
That said:
You do seem to have a very good plot idea going. It's just that some of your writing can be a bit hard to follow, and a bit hard to read. Be sure to put things in paragraphs and similar. Also, add a bit more description. Just how was Mary nice to other norns? What did the fairy look like? How was her interaction with the grendels?
All in all, I see this as a possible Creatures Fairy tale. Keep up the good work. 
Do not upset the ugly worm, lest it be a dragon in disguise. (>oo)>
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