Dear Laura,
I'm writing this on the behalf of an idiot. My friend Homer took your advice a little too seriously. To make up for the lack of stars shining in his eyes (last night being so cloudy and all), he decided it would be brilliant to supplement the shine with a convenient glitter COB. Glue may have been involved. How long should I let him suffer for his stupidity? The blind bumbling is entertaining, but I'm not sure I feel up to diving in after him if he stumbles head first off the docks.
- PF
Dear PF,
He now knows what the phrase "a sight for sore eyes" means. You should let him suffer for 21 days, exactly. During this time, you should tie him to a chair and poke him with sticks of varying materials. They have to be different materials because otherwise he'll think he's just being poked with the same thing. After 21 days he should be magically cured, and you should wag your finger at him for being so silly. However, deny all knowledge of poking him. 
- Laura