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Dear Laura,
What do female Norns find attractive in a male? I'm asking on the behalf of a friend of a friend of a friend.
- Not Homer

Dear Not Homer,
Well, as you're asking on the behalf of a friend of a friend of a friend, Not Homer, I shall, once only, reveal what all female Norns want in a male Norn. Naturally, his eyes must shine, as though the stars themselves have alighted within, and they must glow with love and understanding during those long, lovely calf-eyed stares that are frequently exchanged. But a hint of mischief hidden within is needed, for who would want to live a life of boredom? His fur must be well-groomed, to add to his devilish handsomeness. It must also gleam with vibrant health like a stallion's, not too long and not too short. If it's too long, he will be fighting you for the mirror every morning and that is not the behaviour expected of a perfect suitor. He should know when to be chivalrous, and protect his mate and children with his life when necessary. He must also know where his responsibilities lie, and express his eternal love to you in a thousand ways each day, without fail. So, go forth and find the Norn of your dreams, then invite me to the wedding.

- Laura