Creatures Caves | Community

Dear Laura,
I am an Ettin that searches the galaxy for gadgets in my shuttle. One day, I found a particularly nice looking blue planet and landed there. Judging by the signs I saw everywhere, it was named either 'Burger King' or 'One Way'. There were many gadgets on this planet. I found a large barn called a 'Radio Shack' and took a nice haul from there. As I was taking the gadgets to my craft, a strange and noisy vehicle approached me. Two Ettinoid life forms got out and asked me what I was doing. I said I was taking the gadgets to my craft. "Why?" they enquired, and I replied "So I can take them home and put them with my stash. Maybe I will trade them for cheese." Well, this seemed to offend them somehow. Now I am in some sort of an airlock. It is cold and there are annoying sounds emanating from the creatures in here. I cannot get home. Please help me escape (and get my gadgets back - they have been confiscated)!
- Trapped on Burger King

Dear Trapped on Burger King,
This is the first time I've received a letter written on prison-issue toilet paper! I've managed to pass the news of your predicament onto the Hand. As I write this, it has logged off the computer and is busying itself in the kitchen, preparing a care package of home baked goods to send to you. Hopefully these tasty treats will bring you some comfort, especially the delicious carrot cake that I suggested. It?s packed with vitamins and an 'ironway ilefay' (an exotic delicacy) to help keep your spirits up... the Hand is an experimental cook.

Please enjoy every last crumb, as we wouldn?t want it going to waste. Fear not, with your industrious background, you?ll be a free Ettin soon enough. I also advise that you leave any gadgets behind, when you do eventually return home. They're probably faulty!
- Laura