Dear Laura,
I need your help, Laura! Yesterday, the Hand brought me into this weird machine, pressed a few buttons, and I haven't been the same since!
I started growing feathers, my mouth has been replaced with a beak, and I have the urge to peck at the ground constantly. Also, for some odd reason, I get up at dawn when the sun is rising (I've never woken up earlier than 11:00 AM before!) and make a 'a-doodle doo' noise!
It makes my neighbors angry, they're threatening to make me into chicken wings with a side of bramboo! I just can't help not a-doodling. Please help me...
- Chicken Norn in Distress
Dear Chicken Norn in Distress,
Normally I would gladly answer your question, but I'm afraid I'm having a rather bad day today. I was awoken far too early this morning, by an incredibly loud racket and can barely keep my eyes open. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some bramboo to pick and a neighbour to invite over for dinner.
- Laura