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| Question from Numb Norn on 9/8/2012 | comment | 1 like Dear Laura, Dear Numb Norn, Didn't your mother tell you not to eat strange fruits when you were just a little hatchling? Don't be fooled! A brightly coloured, seductive smelling 'fruit' may actually be a toxic mushroom, a poisonous berry, or a yucky bug in disguise! ![[nsick]](/images/smilies/emot_sick.gif "[nsick]") Luckily, I suspect you've just come across the blue spotted sleepyberry, which is going to make you drowsy for as long as it takes to have a nice, long dream. So, close those little eyes and the sooner you drift off the sooner you will wake up and be able to reach those good toys again!- Laura |
| Question from Rain the Hand on 9/2/2012 | comment | 2 likes Dear Laura, Dear Rain the Hand, In the future, you may wish to exercise a little extra caution when choosing your creatures' curriculum. In particular, although reading old books may broaden your Norns' horizons, we are fairly certain that tomes of Eldritch lore do not make good bedtime reading material for young creatures. It is likely that your Norns have been dabbling in arcane studies using such a volume, perhaps one such as the dreaded 'Necronornicon' (which translates into nothing less macabre than The Book of Dead Norns). But for now, I fear that your life may be in very grave danger! ![[nscared]](/images/smilies/emot_scared.gif "[nscared]") Perhaps you should change your name, or even better, register a new world! You could probably do with a fresh start anyway; just avoid installing anymore dark and murky metarooms if you wish to retain your sanity!- Laura |
| Question from Too Much Cheese! on 8/29/2012 | 2 comments | 1 like Dear Laura, Dear Too Much Cheese!, Short of swallowing a piranha to help clear the... uh, blockage, there are lots of quick and simple home remedies that help with upset stomachs. I'll share my personal favourite with you: Pumperspikel tea! Just soak some seeds in a pot of hot water and enjoy the soothing flavour. You can even add a few drops of lemon to enhance the taste. Other than that, you'll just have to lay off the heavier cheeses for a while until your belly has recovered. Maybe a nice light and creamy variety. ![[nwink]](/images/smilies/emot_wink.gif "[nwink]") - Laura |
| Question from Treehugger/Hardman Mutt on 8/26/2012 | 2 comments | 3 likes Dear Laura, Dear Treehugger/Hardman Mutt, The question you need to ask yourself is not whether you possess more Treehugger or Hardman traits, but rather what do you want to do as an individual creature. After all, a Norn is more than just the sum of their genes. Would you rather hug someone, or punch them? Do you prefer to eat Quirky Cookies or Chilli Pepper Pots? Do you enjoy playing with the Cuddly Tree Doll, or do you find the Mecha-Grendel more stimulating? Considering these questions may help you decide which skin you?re most comfortable in. You might be surprised to discover that your answers mostly relate to Treehuggers, Hardmans, or perhaps even neither! Take Eliza for instance; she was also torn between two different paths, but decided to remain true to herself in the end and I hear she?s been living happily ever since. I think her story just goes to show that, ultimately, you don?t have to follow the instincts of any one particular breed. Whatever makes you happy is what's important, so just roll with it and embrace your journey of self-discovery! ![[nsmile]](/images/smilies/emot_smile.gif "[nsmile]") - Laura |
| Question from Blarg on 8/26/2012 | 3 comments | 2 likes Dear Laura, Dear Blarg, I don't doubt that mushrooms are a delicious staple of Grendel cuisine, but I'd be more concerned about the nasty, biting fishies and the very imminent prospect of a painful and watery death, if I were you!!! Honestly... there's got to be a better way to satisfy your hunger, without losing a limb. ![[noddeye]](/images/smilies/emot_oddeye.gif "[noddeye]") Why don't you take a trip to C12DS and see if the Norns there are willing to share the secret behind their telekinesis powers with you, in exchange for some Pumperspikel seed, or another offering that isn't readily available in their world? If you don't mind soggy food, I think this would be a much safer means to retrieve your mushroom, and would also prevent you from putting yourself in such danger again! - Laura |
| Question from Timmy (Terrified Norn) on 8/24/2012 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Timmy (Terrified Norn), Oh dear... I spoke too soon, didn't I? Well, it's clear that your Hand now considers her offspring to be her top priority, and rightly so. All you need to do is find a way to convince her that removing them away from your influence is in their best interest. Remember, although they are Hands they are also very young and, just like any baby creature, they learn their language by listening to those around them. So, if you begin to swear in Bibble, or imitate the local Hardman Norns or the Grendels in the Jungle Terrarium, or even some of your Hand's choicer words that you may have overheard 'accidentally', they are certain to pick it up in no time at all. When your Hand hears the new phrases her little darlings have learned from her creatures, she'll be sure to keep them away from you in the future! ![[nevilgrin]](/images/smilies/emot_evilgrin.gif "[nevilgrin]") - Laura |
| Question from Panicked Bruin on 8/22/2012 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Panicked Bruin, I would love to help you, but I am not allowed to mention, or even acknowledge, the super-secret CAOS powers the Hands hold in their grasp! I've already said too much in my previous advice, and if they ever find out, I could be next! The only thing you can do is take the next Warp out of there and onto a different ship and refuge. If you happen to bump into Scared of Exports you can breathe a sigh of relief, as I also told him to flee to safety! - Laura |
| Question from Norn Who Wants to Fly on 8/21/2012 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Norn Who Wants to Fly, I doubt leaves will be useful in getting you off the ground. I've never seen a tree fly, and they have hundreds of leaves! I think your best bet would be borrowing a sturdy pair of wings from one of the Norn Terrarium's native residents. Cover yourself in mud and shuffle around with the rest of the Grazers; soon enough, a hungry Gosh-hawk will come along and obligingly take you for a ride! Just be sure to make a hasty retreat when you arrive at its nest, unless you want to become a tasty snack!- Laura |
| Question from Overrun! on 8/20/2012 | 3 comments Dear Laura, Dear Overrun!, You shouldn't just leave your computer running overnight with the screen still on! No wonder those poor Norns escaped; they couldn't cope with the overcrowded living conditions! Send some of your excess Norns through the Warp and the rest will happily rejoin their brethren back in the Meso. After all, no one wants to live on a boring Desktop and eat expired cookies out of the Recycle Bin. ![[ngrimace]](/images/smilies/emot_grimace.gif "[ngrimace]") - Laura |
| Question from Annoyed Gaius on 8/18/2012 | 2 comments Dear Laura, Dear Annoyed Gaius, I think it's completely understandable that you're content with your vocabulary, as it's all you've ever known. However, much time has passed since Geats were first created, and it's unlikely that the Hand has a good grasp of Zander Latin. ![[nsad]](/images/smilies/emot_sad.gif "[nsad]") Maybe this is the ideal opportunity for you to embrace a more modern dialect. Not only would this allow you to communicate better and make new friends, but learning a second language will surely set you apart intellectually from your fellow Ark dwellers, which can only be a plus! Think of all the ladies you'd impress, including a certain Gaia who lives on the Bridge... Still feel like avoiding that elevator? - Laura |
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