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| Question from Bubbette the Norn on 8/6/2005 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Bubbette the Norn, You know, befriending a Hardman Norn does have its advantages... For one, you wouldn't have to worry about Grendel attacks, since Hardman Norns are known to be masterful Grendel Hunters and they won't hesitate to eliminate the Grendel Menace if left to their own devices. Play your cards right, and you could have your own personal bodyguard!  True, they do have a tendency to get a bit too angry, so just make sure that he takes his daily dose of Calm Balm to settle his raging emotions. With time and a few precautions, I'm sure you two will be great pals.- Laura |
| Question from K'aeloree on 8/3/2005 | comment Dear Laura, Dear K'aeloree, Well K'aeloree, I've talked to Liam about it, and he's promised to stop... In exchange for your unquestioning obedience for a week. I'm sure you two will be able to negotiate the terms.  - Laura |
| Question from Feanaro on 8/3/2005 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Feanaro, How am I supposed to know, dear? Although I am privy to knowledge that others are not, (because I'm special, according to Liam) I don't know much.- Laura |
| Question from kelseykatking on 8/2/2005 | comment Dear Laura, Dear kelseykatking, The authorities have been alerted, you should be receiving an official warning from C.A.N.A. within three business days. - Laura |
| Question from Sim Freak 99 on 8/2/2005 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Sim Freak 99, Well, I think I shall be notifying C.A.N.A. about your parenting shenanigans. When they're finished with you, you will never be allowed within five feet of a Norn ever again. That aside, it's worth pointing out that Norns learn a sense of right and wrong, just as humans do, and administering a light slap is one way in which this can be achieved. Some are just too dim to learn this any differently. Therefore, I can safely attest that moderately slapping our Norns is perfectly acceptable. Anything is better than your suggestion, saying that we should starve them; the short-term memory of Norns isn't suited for long-term punishments such as starving! ... How does it feel to know that you're fighting a lost cause?- Laura |
| Question from Feanaro on 8/2/2005 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Feanaro, Simply leaving a Norn alone doesn't work. Like most typical teenagers, your Norn will just sit in solitude and contemplate more ways to combat you and how your actions were "so unfair!" Instead a swift slap should do the trick. Let him realise that you do mean business here. Worry not though, it's probably just a phase, I'm sure he'll soon learn to respect you and others around him. Also, bear in mind that he has just been uprooted from his familiar surroundings and placed into an environment which probably seems alien to him, so just allow him time to settle down gradually. - Laura |
| Question from Naughty Grendel on 8/1/2005 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Naughty Grendel, The Hand probably has a good reason. Do you recall doing anything that the Hand would find offensive or "wrong", like bullying its Norns? As reluctant as I am to help you, the Containment Chamber is a good place to hide, since the Hand can't really see clearly through it and can't readily pick up any creatures inside. I wouldn't be surprised if you got caught sooner or later though, and perhaps you are deserving of everything you get. - Laura |
| Question from Confused Norn on 8/1/2005 | comment | 1 like Dear Laura, Dear Confused Norn, Notice how your friends didn't clamber back out afterwards and the sudden scattering of bones? Obviously not.  Well, I'm not about to lie to you. It's a sad fact to accept, but your friends have been eaten. Your Hand really should have told you that piranha fish are ferocious, flesh-eating monsters and I strongly suggest that if you like your bones on the inside of your body, you'll keep well away!- Laura |
| Question from Bullied Norn on 7/31/2005 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Bullied Norn, I would normally recommend that you try dual SMG's, (Sub Machine Guns) simply because they are much more effective, not to mention more powerful. However, firing any kind of ballistic weapon whilst inside a starship is nothing but suicide; the Shee ship is pressurised, and the vacuum of space is deadly. Why don?t you try the Sludge Gun in the Norn Terrarium instead? - Laura |
| Question from Big Norn on 7/30/2005 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Big Norn, Give him a taste of his own medicine! Steal one of your brother's most prized possessions, say, the 'Xbox', and take it hostage. Then write an anonymous ransom note, using cut-out newspaper letters, threatening to send disassembled pieces of his beloved console through the letterbox, piece by piece, until your violin is safely returned. - Laura |
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