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Question from A Lonely Alien  on 3/29/2013 | 1 comment | 6 likes

Dear Laura,
     For the past few days I've been spending most of my time in the Creatures Village space station, and I feel so lonely! I'd love to venture down to the world below, but I'm afraid all of the Norns will laugh at the way I look. :(
- A Lonely Alien

Dear A Lonely Alien,
     This idea may seem a bit backwards at first, but why don't you make yourself look... funnier, by sneaking your way into the house and putting on the Elvis Presley outfit from the dressing room wardrobe? The native Norn villagers are more likely to be afraid of your extraterrestrial looks, so try to entertain them and I'm sure you'll become friends in no time! If they laugh at your impersonations then you'll know you've made a good impression. [nwink]
- Laura
Question from Iris  on 3/16/2013 | 1 comment | 2 likes

Dear Laura,
     Iris exmly sad, Norn hungry, eat Iris! Iris exmly hurt, Iris run Norn.
- Iris

Dear Iris,
     Aw... I feel sorry for you, Iris. [nsad] Maybe you'd do well to consider taking up Albian Carrot Beetle Racing (points deducted for eating your beetle!), since it's not a team sport and hanging out with other Norns isn't really working out for you. Or what about a spot of 200 metre Cloud Layer Butterfly Catching, long-distance Honey pot grabbing, or an exhilarating Purple Mountain hike? Having a variety of different hobbies will surely do wonders for your confidence, not to mention be healthy for your lobes, sprites and soul!
- Laura
Question from Desperately Curious  on 2/10/2013 | comment | 5 likes

Dear Laura,
     As an Ambassador for Creatures 4, does that mean that you have touched down upon Sphericus? If so, what is it like? What are the native Norns like?
- Desperately Curious

Dear Desperately Curious,
     While building a bridge between the Ark and Sphericus, I've discovered much about the planet and its indigenous Norns. Rest assured they're gentle, peace-loving creatures, who greeted me with a familiar piece of cheese on arrival. They appear to have superior intelligence to us, due to their close proximity to the Shee, who continue to be elusive (we've yet to confirm a sighting of one). I am amazed by their knowledge on fixing broken toys and the stamina they possess to grow their own carrots. I even saw one Norn carrying a watering can! It's as though the Hand blessed them with its own unworldly skills. Could it be they've grown so smart that they no longer need their caretaker? [nsurprised] It's clear that we have a lot to learn from our clever cousins, something I hope to achieve as my diplomatic relationship with them continues! As for the sphere itself, its curious 'third' dimension has only served to make me dizzy so far... It must be all the excitement of being in a brave, new world!
- Laura
Question from Misfit Gaius  on 2/9/2013 | comment | 2 likes

Dear Laura,
     I'm really sad. I really want to hang out with all the Norns, but they all think I look weird! I always thought I was a Norn, too, but it turns out I'm some strange metal bird thing called a Gaius. I've never even heard of such a creature! The Norns haven't either, apparently! When they're not calling me names, they throw their ball at me and watch it bounce off, or stare at themselves in their reflection on my stomach! I wish I was a Norn so I could fit in better, and so that they liked me! What should I do?
- Misfit Gaius

Dear Misfit Gaius,
     Your breed isn't something that you can control, and it is very wrong of those Norns to treat you differently because of it! Think of all the advantages your extra height gives you, and the smorgasbord of gadgets available to you that they just simply cannot eat! You need to love yourself so that you can SHINE, baby! [ngrin] Your own self-confidence will do a great deal to insulate your heart against the slings and balls of the other Norns, and may even win them over. Do try and save a radio though, so that you can try and communicate with any Gaians on board the ship.
- Laura
Question from Intrepid Hardman Norn  on 2/9/2013 | comment | 2 likes

Dear Laura,
     On my ship, all the Grendels are ruled by this one single female Grendel. She forces them to bring her Norn eggs, where she waits for the egg to hatch and then eats the baby Norn! I believe that the death of this tyrant would bring peace to our ship, but taking her out is easier said then done. Even the other Grendels are scared to death of her! Might you have suggestions about how to dispose of this vile creature?
- Intrepid Hardman Norn

Dear Intrepid Hardman Norn,
     I don't envy your situation, it must be tough. Frankly though, I believe that overthrowing the female Grendel may cause more problems than it solves. Once their Queen dies, you'll have the Grendels fighting amongst themselves for the throne, and not particularly caring who gets caught in the crossfire... Eep! [nscared] How do you know that she forces them to steal eggs? Have you ever considered that perhaps they're merely doing it as the equivalent of a nice bunch of Feverfew blossoms, or a cheese platter to win her favour? Try to win an audience with her and find out what she really wants. It could be that she fancies a day spa at the Ettin Desert's hot springs, or an expensive cruise in Aquatilis Caverna. If you can get all her subjects to chip in, it won't be a burden to them, and Her Majesty will finally get what she really desires... And leave your newborns alone!
- Laura
Question from All Paws  on 2/9/2013 | comment | 2 likes

Dear Laura,
     My friends wanted to make a band, and even though I can't play a musical instrument, or sing, I wanted to join too. I got myself a ukulele and a book and I've been trying to learn to play. The trouble is, I just can't get the fingerings right!!! I'll never sound like my friends, and I just get so frustrated I just want to give it up... but then I'd be disappointing my friends. [nsad] How do I get better at playing music?
- All Paws

Dear All Paws,
     Don't despair! By sheer coincidence, I've recently begun to play a ruby red guitar myself, so I know exactly where you're coming from when you say that the fingering is tricky! While every good musician can start off a little clumsily, (and whoever said strumming with paws was easy?) the key to anything is regular practice, so keep going, seek encouragement from your friends, and don't be discouraged if the Hand starts supplying your fellow Norns with cotton wool. If one song tires you out, try another and come back to the first when you're feeling more confident. Before you know it you'll be rocking out with your friends at The Grendel's Head pub and find yourselves headhunted, by music mogul Ettins, to perform onstage at The Royal Albian Hall; it's destiny! [ngeek]
- Laura
Question from Frustrated Hardman Norn  on 1/2/2013 | comment | 1 like

Dear Laura,
     Help me! I like to spend time with a group of other male Norns but I'm the only one who likes to go Grendel hunting! I asked the other guys in my group of friends to go Grendel hunting to bring back pelts to impress the ladies but they all declined. I want to find something lovely for the apple of my eye, a pretty Bondi lady, and I'm starting to think a Grendel hide might not be the best gift. Do you have any ideas?
- Frustrated Hardman Norn

Dear Frustrated Hardman Norn,
     If you really want to encourage your friends to undertake this activity with you then I'd advise making it more fun for them, by integrating things they might enjoy too. Why not suggest turning your hunting trip into an overnight camping adventure, with lemonade and vended muffins? However, if your lady hasn't shown any interest in Grendel hides you might want to consider a slightly more sensitive gift, such as her favourite food or perfume. Never underestimate the power of the tried and tested classics; wining, dining and romancing. [nwink]
- Laura
Question from Mother to Ettins?  on 12/28/2012 | comment

Dear Laura,
     My mate and I -- both lovely Treehugger Norns -- recently had a set of beautiful identical twins... with the heads of Ettins! I have always been faithful and the twins have yet to display signs of preferring heat or going after those... shiny... metal... things ('gadgets'?), but try telling the Mister that! What's happened? Is it my fault? His? And how do I tell him I've never kisspopped one of those icky desert-dwellers?!
- Mother to Ettins?

Dear Mother to Ettins?,
     As any Shee will tell you, inter-species breeding isn't possible without a little scientific intervention. So, should your mate have any doubts, just have him take a look at the twins' Creature History to reassure him they're his. It simply happens that 'quirks' can arise from time to time in new eggs, and you are the lucky parents of two of these special offspring. As long as you love and care for them, they should grow up to be as well rounded and content as any other. [nsmile]
- Laura
Question from Forgotten in Albia  on 12/19/2012 | comment | 1 like

Dear Laura,
     My Hand has abandoned me! I was just playing with my favorite ball in the garden, when suddenly I'm whisked away from my home, and dumped with some other Norns in a big blank box! They said that we've been "Ex-por-ted". Now the Hand is playing with a new baby Norn, and she's forgotten all about me. We've tried to get her attention, but she can't hear us! I've always been a good Norn, I eat when I'm told, I always play nice and I shower to stay nice and clean, so why did I get abandoned? How can we get the attention of our forgetful Hand? Can we ever get back to Albia? I miss my ball and eating carrots by the warm fire! I want to go home!
- Forgotten in Albia

Dear Forgotten in Albia,
     You might have heard of the 'Santa Norn', a rare breed which has been popping up recently in many worlds. While they may appear jolly, there have been rumours that this is simply a facade. With this in mind, your hand probably exported you just to be on the safe side. Fear not though, I'm sure that once it's established a better feel for the newcomer you'll be roasting yourself by that warm fire once more. Try not to be too jealous; Santa Norns are often accompanied by a phenomenon wherein rain condenses into something called 'snow'. I hear it can be bitterly cold! [ngrimace] In the meantime, this could be a good opportunity for you to make some new friends. Who knows, perhaps the big blank box is your gateway to forming a long-lasting friendship back in Albia? Someone to share a carrot with, or three.
- Laura
Question from Feeding On Sunshine  on 12/13/2012 | comment | 2 likes

Dear Laura,
     I don't know who my parents were -- only that I was dropped into a clan with other Norns at an early age. They raised me, but they're also growing alienated from me. Every time I'm hungry, they offer me a seed or a fruit, but I've never felt the need to eat them. In fact, I just need to walk out into the open sun and after a bit of basking, I'm sated again! Is something wrong with me? Is this the dreaded Plant Norn Ailment? Is there an antidote? I want to be able to have dinner with my clan; I don't want to be a flower!
- Feeding On Sunshine

Dear Feeding On Sunshine,
     Rather than regarding your condition as an ailment, have you ever considered that perhaps the Shee created you this way for a reason? After all, your soft foliage and flowery scent provide excellent camouflage against Grendels. While this does mean that there's no antidote, don't be too dismayed. Why, I'm sure that there are plenty of Norns who would envy you for never having to eat your vegetables as a kid. With all this in mind, you're probably better off as you are. Although you could try eating a few seeds or fruits when you're around your family, if only for politeness's sake, I don't think I could recommend it. If you really are part (or all) Plant Norn, it would almost be like eating a distant cousin. [noddeye] Instead, you might try sampling a drop of honey, or perhaps some fish. Not only will it give your coat a healthy shine, but I also hear that fish is great for fertilising flowers!
- Laura

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