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| Question from One Bored Norn on 10/27/2013 | comment | 2 likes Dear Laura, Dear One Bored Norn, Some Hands say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I'm not sure what you can actually make with bare earth, but it's probably better if you don't drink it. There's so much potential for new crops; perhaps invest in a lemon tree or two, so you can start making the aforementioned lemonade. With time, you can build up an entire enterprise based on lemon-flavoured drinks. It's sure to be a winner. So turn that Locust Ettin plague frown upside down, and start afresh, with a refreshing new business opportunity! - Laura |
| Question from Determined Gill Norn on 10/27/2013 | comment Dear Laura, Dear Determined Gill Norn, That certainly is a worthy reason to want to breathe air! It's like the story of the little MerShee who fell in love with a handsome Shee prince, who lived in a palace on the shore. Perhaps this same Ettin could help by engineering a special water-containing helmet, in order for you to breathe for a short while on land, before having to return home? This is a rather rough predicament, my dear Determined Gill Norn. Fret not though, for love always finds a way! If you cannot come aground perhaps there's a way for the lovely lady Norn to visit you under the sea! I hear that scuba diving is a popular pastime amongst Hands; perhaps your Ettin friend has some clever ideas involving an oxygen cylinder and a pair of flippers up its sleeve. - Laura |
| Question from A Not-Miserable Grendel on 10/27/2013 | comment | 3 likes Dear Laura, Dear A Not-Miserable Grendel, There's nothing wrong with you my friend, you're fine as you are! You have something called a 'genetic mutation', a curiosity that’s prized by many Hands. Have you tried acting happy and doing happy things, so that other creatures know you're smiling on the inside? If that doesn't work, talk to your Hand and ask if it can find another Hand who likes extraordinary Grendels; that way you can go somewhere where you’ll feel more at home! - Laura |
| Question from Why Beetles? on 10/27/2013 | comment | 3 likes Dear Laura, Dear Why Beetles?, Firstly, my condolences about your mother; what a BEEzarre way to go! Secondly, Carrot Beetles eat carrots because they're Carrot Beetles and they don't care about revenge, they just want to eat carrots! If I were you, I'd cut my losses and take up snail racing instead. They're much easier to overtake, for starters... - Laura |
| Question from Connection Lost on 10/27/2013 | comment | 3 likes Dear Laura, Dear Connection Lost, First and foremost, DON'T PANIC. Get everyone to the Workshop as quick as you can but don't run, you'll only spook the sliding doors. Once you get there, 'push elevator' and lock yourselves in the Containment Chamber; you should be shielded from any flying cookies and demented Hoverdocs in there! While you're waiting for the Hand to rescue your world from disaster and make its repairs, the vendor inside the chamber has plenty of Yarn Fruit, Star Seed and Peking Pie for you to munch on. Just take it easy with that delousing spray though; there's no point in me trying to save you all, for you to then suffocate in a confined space! Don't worry about the Hand's disappearance, I suspect it's just hiding from embarrassment. You'll probably find it'll re-appear as soon as the 'patch' is uninstalled. - Laura |
| Question from Stingerly Addicted on 10/27/2013 | comment | 6 likes Dear Laura, Dear Stingerly Addicted, Perhaps you could try branching out a bit and explore the ship's other tasty appetizers! For instance, the Norn Terrarium's native ants and grasshoppers are just as crunchy, and I hear they're better for your waistline too. Just rub a little chili pepper on them and you'll have that same spicy 'kick', but with none of the poison. - Laura |
| Question from A Dashing Red Norn on 10/27/2013 | comment | 5 likes Dear Laura, Dear A Dashing Red Norn, It sounds like your friends would also like to play make believe with the dressing up box! Why not let them join in too? After all, there is more adventure to be had when a game is shared with others! I know for certain that our Ettin neighbours enjoy a good role-play with plenty of props (regardless of whose props they were originally)! However, in light of their kleptomaniac tendencies, it's probably better not to put them in the role of Robin Hood which, by the way, might be your first port of call when looking for your silver spoon. ![[nwink]](/images/smilies/emot_wink.gif "[nwink]") - Laura |
| Question from Disconnected Hand on 10/27/2013 | comment | 3 likes Dear Laura, Dear Disconnected Hand, I've always found the ChiChi Norns to be very understanding creatures and I think yours will be no exception! Simply tell them to the truth; that the portal doesn't work anymore, since the Ettins in charge of its maintenance have now hung up their tools and retired. Never mind though, because there are still plenty of other gadgets around the ship for them to tinker with, all with blinking lights and enticing whirring sounds! Have you introduced them to the elevator buttons yet?  - Laura |
| Question from Not a Creatchi on 10/27/2013 | comment | 5 likes Dear Laura, Dear Not a Creatchi, Oh, how I feel for you. Since you refer to yourself as 'Not a Creatchi' though I can't help but worry that you're focusing too much on what you are not, rather than what you are. Existential angst is never very healthy, especially in young, impressionable creatures like yourself! I think you would benefit from the daily practicing of some T'ai chi, which would have two benefits: Firstly, it will clear your mind and help balance out your negative energy, and secondly, it will add some much-needed 'chi' into your life! Clearly this will make you more attractive to the Hand. - Laura |
| Question from Ben the Suspicious Norn on 10/27/2013 | comment | 1 like Dear Laura, Dear Ben the Suspicious Norn, Have you been experiencing inter-species strife with the Ettins? Have you found that useful gadgets disappear at critical moments? Has this, perhaps, made you a bit jumpy? The Hands are not Ettins. Ettins take, but Hands usually give. Every year, around this time, all the Hands get together to share new things for the benefit of all creatures. So, let go of your suspicions, relax and enjoy your presents. Even if your Hand didn't help create them, other Hands did and gave them freely! - Laura |
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![[ncrying]](/images/smilies/emot_crying.gif "[ncrying]")
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