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View Details (4)
RavenFire
Laura
Moe althalus99| Agony Aunt Advice Column | |
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| Dear Laura, I'm always tired, even when I eat flowers that are supposed to give me energy. What's wrong with me? - sleep E head Dear sleep E head, I think you need to ask the Hand for more ecology lessons, as you still seem to be confusing "herbs" with "badplants". The herb that gives you energy is called Morning Glory and it shouldn’t be confused with the badplant Nightshade. Although both are physically similar, Nightshade will make you fall asleep. It's not surprising you’ve been so tired! - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, My Mama went to da Grendel towawium to look for my Papa. Now she's been gone fow a hawf a howuw, and I'm gettin' a widdle wowwied. Showld I look fow her? Pwease excuse my voice. - babynorn Dear babynorn, No. Don’t go looking for them – you may only end up going missing yourself. The Jungle Terrarium is extremely dangerous and is not a place for young Norns. Maybe your Hand can go in and check on them. But, oh dear, considering where they've both gone and how long they've been in there... I'm sorry but I think you need to prepare your little self for the worst. It's a sad and difficult fact to accept, but it could be that your Mama and Papa won’t come back in good health or even alive.  Just be brave for your parents and remember that every Norn experiences this at some point in their lives, so you’re not alone. Also, take comfort in the knowledge that the other Norns will be around to look after you whatever happens.- Laura |
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| Dear Laura, I am a female Treehugger Norn and I really (reeeeally) like this Toxic Norn who lives in a different room, but every time I get near him I get sick and then my Hand slaps me! What am I to do? - Desperate Treehugger Dear Desperate Treehugger, Explain to the Hand your deep felt love for this Norn and ask for its help and blessing. As far as getting sick goes, that's the cost of love. We all have to make sacrifices for the ones we love, I just hope you’re happy and making the right decision.  Might I suggest you stock up on medicines though?- Laura |
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| Dear Laura, Today my Hand came home with a new dinosaur toy. It's really cool, and I'd love to go play with it, but I've been REALLY SCARED OF REPTILES ever since a Grendel killed my mother. How can I conquer my fear? - Scared Baby Treehugger Dear Scared Baby Treehugger, I suggest you try spending more time around the dinosaur, just a little at first, until you become less fearful. Give it a name, have conversations and play games with it, anything that will help alleviate your fear. I’m sure it’ll turn out to be a good companion for you, and possesses no Grendel traits underneath its scaly exterior. - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, All my Ettins are bored but they won't play with any of the toys I put in front of them! Do they like to be bored? - Desperate hand Dear Desperate hand, Don’t Ettins like gadgets, not toys? Ettins are descended from engineer stock, meaning they are pretty much fixated on technology. I'd suggest that you use this to your advantage and move them to the Bridge with some nice machinery to play with, they might even build something useful! - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, Um, I was pushing a big toy in the garden and then I notice some random male Norn staring at me. He's been staring at me ALL the time! For days! How can I tell him that I'm not interested? - Random Female Norn Dear Random Female Norn, He might not necessarily be staring at you... He could be staring at the big toy. Perhaps he wants to play with the toy as well, but is too shy to ask you. Often it’s natural for boys to feel bashful when they’re faced with talking to a girl, why don’t you approach him and ask if he wants to join in? - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, Have you realised there is no currency for us Norns? How am I to charge my fellow "companions" for the toothpaste they so desperately need? We are not as primitive as you may think. - Cheeseburger Dear Cheeseburger, I’m not even going to ask why any Norn would need some toothpaste... They don't have any toothbrushes! Bartering usually works well in close-knit communities like yours. Why don’t you use this to your advantage and use your natural resources for example, carrots, to trade with them for goods? Every Norn likes a freshly dug up, crunchy carrot so I don’t think you’ll find that many will turn their nose up at such an offer – don’t meddle with the blue carrots though, they only lead to trouble. - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, The Hand was playing around with the splicer and spliced me from over 20 different genetics. Norns/Grendels/Ettins everywhere laugh at me. Please help me! - Unfortunate Norn Dear Unfortunate Norn, Your fellow Albian inhabitants are cruel laughing at you, and they should be ignored. But every cloud has a silver-lining as in - I’m thinking that your problem could be turned into a valuable asset if you adopt the right attitude. Have you ever considered donating your body to science? A genetic phenomenon like yourself can prove to be essential in aiding the research of the developers, scientists and genetic breeders in our Creatures Community. Just imagine it; an insight into the inner workings of your DNA could lead to the development of new geats, sprites, even Norn breeds! It really could make you famous. Plus, imagine the joys of living with those prone to such fabulous discoveries as honey-carrot drops and edible rubber balls!  I personally think it’s not a bad idea. Mull it over and consider discussing it with your Hand.- Laura |
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| Dear Laura, I can't escape adolescent boys. I'm being chased by them. They're so immature and gross. How do I escape them without committing acts such as suicide or murder? - Gorgeous norn Dear Gorgeous norn, Oh, euwh. Gorgeous, I completely sympathise with your feelings, being a lady of charms myself. Of course, I have the advantage of Treehugger camoflage... If "Mr. Lucky" - he wishes! - comes along, I dive into the nearest bush. Adolescent boys are sometimes prone to being driven by their newfound sex drive over all else. This does not mean that you owe any of them a kiss-pop. Stick with your girlfriends - often boys will think twice about approaching a group of girls. Furthermore, it might be worth asking your Hand to try to separate any of the least annoying boys from the pack - I find men can even become adorable, individually. - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, Why do my Norns say things like, "Bring me your bibble and say 'eat me'." and steal eggs and stuff them in the microwave? - Kid with no clue Dear Kid with no clue, Maybe your Norns are hungry for a juicy Norn steak with a side order of Norn eggs? I'd suggest that the Hand gets some more appropriate food sources... Preferably critters if the Norns seem to be fixed on catching their "own" food. And judging by their Norn speak, they could all do with a language booster class (with an extra-curricular side order of 'Do Not Eat Your Young' 101)! - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, I don't want Grendels to hurt my Norns, so sometimes I kill a Grendel who's punching a Norn. But when I look at a dead body of a Grendel, I feel so guilty. - grendel killer Dear grendel killer, The moral of this story is that raising Norns and Grendels in a close proximity should be avoided, so do both of you a favour and separate them immediately. That aside, you clearly have serious issues with the Grendel race. Let me tell you now that you shouldn’t believe everything you hear or read - Grendels have been the butt of a lot of propaganda over the years and as a result, they’ve become a sorely misunderstood species. Maybe if you educated yourself more about them, you would have a better understanding, and perhaps a newfound sense of appreciation... The Truth About Grendels, whilst largely dealing with C1 and C2 Grendels, still has some interesting insights to offer. - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, One day I was pushing carrots, as usual, and then I saw her. I don't know why, but I feel so dizzy when she is around. What is this and what should I do? - Random Male Norn Dear Random Male Norn, Sounds like you've been struck by one of Cupid's arrows. I'd suggest you go up and talk to this vision of loveliness - if it makes you feel easier about it, give her a friendly gift. - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, My Hand went out shopping yesterday, and she brought home a gadget from TreeSprite called DS Reaper. Now all my friends are disappearing one by one. What do I do? Can you tell me where to find TreeSprite so we can give back this evil gadget? Thanks, - Old-n-Lonely Dear Old-n-Lonely, Well, you're going to have to be sneaky about this one. When the Hand comes to watch over you Norns, make your way up some lifts to get to the top of your habitat, and grab the agent right out from under her fingers. Quickly make a dash with it into the nearest Portal or Door, or alternatively see if you can coax a friendly Ettin into feeding it to the Recycler for you. That should put an end to it. I also advise you to keep a watchful eye on your Hand's "shopping habits" from now on too, just ensure that she doesn't go and obtain another one.  - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, I have a bunch of lazy Hardman Norns! I train them with the dummy to "hit grendel" and they do it! However, when faced with a real Grendel, even just a docile C12DS Grendel, they will not do anything. They even say "em like grendel"! Grr. My vicious Norns are better than this laziness! What do I do? - KC11 Dear KC11, Make peace, not war? Seriously, your Hardman Norns show better sense than yourself, it seems. I mean, really - even the meanest Hardman warrior isn't going to beat up on a poor defenseless Grendel... A warrior's honour needs to be upheld after all. - Laura |
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| Dear Laura, My pet Norn died today, I think she fell while climbing and hurt herself. I loved her very much, but now I've got this hole in my heart that will never fully heal, what kind of Norn should I get to try and fill in that hole? I know she can never be replaced, but I need something to comfort me. What will I do? - Heartbroken Hand Dear Heartbroken Hand, Have a funeral, and try to remember all the good things about your Norn. Also, try and put your Norn's things away for now; constantly seeing them littered around the Meso will only sharpen the pain. Even though it's painful, some day you won't feel sad that you had her and she died, you'll just be glad that you had the chance to get to know her at all - and that's a comforting thought in itself. Try going for long walks in the meantime - it will give you a chance to be with your thoughts out in the fresh air. - Laura |
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